The Best Worst Date Ever
by SWWoman
Summary: Reese rescues Carter from a very bad date, and things get complicated.
1. Chapter 1

Joss Carter hummed as she applied her makeup, it had been a long timesince she had been on a date, and she was looking forward to it. She enjoyed dressing up but got very few opportunities to do so. Few men were willing to ask a single mother out, and even fewer were willing to ask a single mother who was a tough cop out.

Her son Taylor leaned against the door jam of the bathroom, watching her. "Who are you seeing tonight, Mom? The Bad Ass?" He asked hopefully. The Bad Ass was Taylor's name for John Reese, former Special Ops, ex-CIA agent, and current Vigilante and Bringer of Chaos. Taylor had admired him since the night Reese had saved him from thecrime kingpin Elias, and had made it increasingly clear to Joss that he would consider Reese a very cool step-dad.

Joss, for her part, was not so sure a guy who knew 10 different ways to kill you with nothing more than a pencil was such a hot prospect as a step dad, no matter how hot and bothered he could make the mother with just **a** simple "Hello" and a smirk.

Joss glared at her son. "No, I'm seeing an attorney, if you must know." A nice safe and sensible attorney; not some dangerous, gorgeous ex-CIA agent with the sexiest voice and soulful blue eyes….

Taylor had no way of knowing that Joss would really rather be seeing Reese, and there was no way she would ever tell him. She was pretty sure Reese did not consider her dating material anyway. She wondered if he considered anyone dating material or if he still carried a torch for Jessica. With Joss he was flirtatious, but she assumed that he was like that with all the women, particularly the ones he found useful to his work. She knew she was an asset to him, nothing more.

"OK Mom, you know the drill, what's his name and where are you meeting him? You should always tell someone where you're going and who you will be with, you know." Taylor smirked at her, delivering the same lecture she gave him almostweekly.

Joss sighed. Ah, the joys of raising a bright kid. "His name is Douglas Cline. We are meeting at Kobe. I should be home by 11. OK, Dad?"

"Sure, Ma. Have a good time." And Taylor sauntered off to his room to call Harold Finch, computer genius and Reese's boss in vigilantism. Taylor knew Finch would run a background check on Mr. Cline if he asked, and probably alert John as well. Taylor was not going to give up on the idea ofbringing The Bad Ass into the family easily.

"Hello, Taylor. What can I do for you?" Finch answered on the first ring.

"My mom has a date, and I need you to check up on the guy."

Finch was most unhappy to hear the Detective was going out with someone who was not John Reese. Finch knew Reese had feelings for her, and he did not want to see Reese hurt or distracted by a messy love triangle. Finch knew Reese had a romantic streak and felt that Carter would be his best chance at moving past his dead lover Jessica and finally healing that part of his troubled soul.

"What's his name and occupation? I'll call you back as soon as I find something."

"Douglas Cline, he's a lawyer. Thanks Finch", and Taylor hung up.

Finch began running the information, on one hand hoping something would turn up so he could send Reese in to interrupt the date, on the other hand hoping nothing turned up, which meant Carter was safe.

After about an hour he had his answer. He called Reese.

"Busy here, Finch", Reese snapped. Finch could hear the noises of a struggle coming through the phone, so Finch sat and waited.

After a few minutes, the sounds of the struggle ceased. There was another minute of silence except for heavy breathing, and then an obviously winded Reese snarled, "This had better be important."

"Detective Carter might possibly be in danger, is that important?" Finch calmly asked.

Finch heard the concern in the younger man's voice. "What's wrong? Where is she?"

"Taylor called me about an hour ago, he asked me to run a background check on a man she has a date with tonight."

"Carter ha**s** a date?" Reese's voice was very tight and gruff, which Finch had learned long ago meant he was upset. Good, maybe Mr. Reese would get off his duff and do something about it.

"She's **a **beautiful woman, why wouldn't she have a date?' Finch asked innocently. Zing! Take that Mr Reese! "I did as Taylor asked, and it turns out that her date is an attorney whose client list reads like a who's who of Elias's organization."

"Where are they now?" Reese was angry now; Finch could hear it in his voice. Finch almost felt sorry for Douglas Cline, but then decided that anyone who was onElias's payroll wasn't worthy of pity.

"A restaurant named Kobe."

"On my way. Call Fusco to come pick up Mr. Lester here, he's not going anywhere." And Reese stormed off to his car and peeled out.

Reese was angry. First off, he was angry at the number he hadjust finished knocking out for diverting his attention from Carter for several hours when Elias was once again after her. Second, he was angry at Elias for going after Carter again. Lastly, he was angry at Douglas Cline for asking Carter out under false pretenses.

Mostly Reese was angry at himself. He was angry because somehow he had let his guard down and Carter had wormed her way under his skin and into his heart, to the point thathe could not go more than a few days without seeing her. He was angry at himself because she held his heart in her hands and he no idea what to do about it. He went to sleep at night wondering what it be like to have her lying next to him, and woke up in the morning wondering if he would get to see her that day. And, as badly as he wanted one, he had no idea how to make a relationship with her actually work.

Right now he would focus on Cline. He knew Carter didn't date much and she was bound to be hurt when she discovered that Cline's interest in her was only because Elias was paying him. He was going to hurt Mr. Cline very, very badly for toying with her feelings.

By the time John pulled into the alley behind the restaurant, he was in a very dark mood. He parked the car and sent Carter a text message**: **_Meet me in the alley behind the restaurant. Bring your date.__Urgent._A few minutes later she came storming out of the back of the restaurant, obviously pissed beyond measure, with a baffled Cline in tow. She came storming up to John, breathing fire and flashing lightening from her eyes. She was wearing a sleeveless teal tank dress that hugged every curve and high heels that showed off her perfect legs. John thought she was the sexiest thing he had ever seen, and it was all he coulddo to restrain himself from grabbing her and kissing her to death.

"Hi, Joss." He smirked at her, and then decked her date with one punch.

"John, what the hell….?" She yelped as she grabbed his arm.

John held up one finger in a 'Wait a minute' gesture. He reached down, grabbed Cline by the throat, picked him up, and threw him down on the car hood.

"Now Mr Cline, would you care to explain your true motivations for asking this lady out tonight?"

"I don't know what you mean!" Cline managed to croak out.

John slightly increased the pressure of his fingers on the man's throat, cutting off his air. He kept eye contact with the man the entire time and Cline saw the stone cold killer in John's eyes. Joss gasped, but didn't interfere. Out of the corner of his eye, John saw her face grow hard and angry. He knew she was probably going tear him a new one later, but as long asElias's lackey wasn't around trying to put his filthy hands on her, he would deal with the fallout.

After what seemed like an eternity to Cline, but was really only about sixty seconds, John relaxed his fingers enough to allow Cline the air to speak. Cline gasped for several seconds and finally said, "I was ordered by Elias to get close to her. I swear I wasn't supposed to hurt her, just keep track of her."

John glanced over at Joss to see how she was taking the news. Her face remained hard and angry, and now one tear tracked down her cheek. She looked away, and John's rage grew. He cut off Cline's airway again.

"Why? What was the plan?" John demanded calmly in a low deadly tone of voice as he relaxed his fingers another 30 seconds later.

"I don't know, I swear! All I know isthat I was supposed to get close and report everything I learned to Elias."

John could barely contain himself. He pulled Cline close, so they were nose to nose, so Cline could see the darkness of the emotionless killer in his eyes. Report _that_ to Elias, asshole.

"Tell Elias to leave Carter and her son alone, or there will be no place on this planet thathe will be safe from me. Do you understand? The next one of his associates to mess with her will be sent back to Elias in pieces; very, very small pieces. Do you understand?"

Cline whimpered out a "Yes", and John released him.

Joss stepped around John. "May I have a word with Mr. Cline?**" S**he asked sweetly, too sweetly. John nodded and stepped back. Whatever she had planned for Cline, he did not want to be in the way.

Joss did not disappoint him. She looked long and hard at Cline. "So let me get this straight. The ONLY reason you asked me out is because your boss, a vicious crime lord who has been trying to kill me, told you to ask me out?"

Cline was rubbing his throat where John had held him. He was going to have a beauty of **a** bruise there, not that either John or Joss cared. Cline however, did care, and was quite upset about how he had been manhandled. Cline was one of those people who really didn't give a crap about other people's feelings, especially the feelings of those he considered beneath him. He drove an expensive car, wore expensive suits and ate in expensive restaurants, and anyone who didn't, was considered beneath him. It went without saying that he considered cops beneath him and he had been less than thrilled with his assignment from Elias. So, when Joss asked her question, he made a big mistake; he answered honestly.

His lip curled up in a snarl of contempt, "I wouldn't date a cop if I didn't have to, I prefer my women more upscale", he spat at Joss.

Joss then delivered a knee to his balls with such power and speed that it made John's eyes water just watching it. Cline dropped like a rock, writhing on the ground, in so much pain he couldn't even cry.

Joss smoothed down her hair, and with great dignity turned to John. "I would like to leave now. May I trouble you for a ride Mr. Reese?"

John gave her his warmest smile. "Of course, Ms. Carter" he said smoothly, and hurried to open the car door for her. Once she was settled in the passenger seat, he shut the door and walked around the car. "Later, Doug", he called out cheerfully to theman writhing in pain on the ground as he walked past him. John climbed into the car and backed it out of the alley, leaving Cline to fend for himself. John figured he should be able to stand up again in about half an hour.

John heard a small sniffle coming from Joss. He glanced over to see her fish a tissue out of her purse and wipe her eyes and nose. "I suppose I should thank you", she finally said.

John pulled over and parked. He turned to her. "I'll understand if you don't. I'll understand if you're mad at me for ruining your evening."

"I'm not mad at YOU." She sighed. "Should've known. My first date in months and it'swith a spy for Elias."

"You deserve better Joss…" John started to say.

"Well I'm not going to get it, am I?" She retorted sharply. Then she shook her head, "I'm sorry John, you're the last person I should be mad at, considering how often you save my ass."

"It's a very nice ass, Carter." John spoke before he thought.

She finally turned to face him, and favored him with a small, tight smile. "Thanks." She took another swipe at her eyes with the tissue. "I should go home and lick my wounds", she finally said.

John touched her arm. "I ruined your date; I should at least buy you some dinner before I take you home."

"Despite what you seem to think, John, I'm not your responsibility. I'm sure there is someone out there who needs you right now." She didn't even turn to look at him, she just kept staring at the tissue she was turning over and over in her hands.

Seeing her so hurt broke John's heart. He reached over, placed his fingers under her chin and turningher to turn towards him. Hetilted her head so she was forced to look him in the eyes.

"I think there is someone I would like to help right here." He said softly.

She searched his eyes for a few minutes and then looked away. "I look like shit, John."

He turned her face towards him again. "No, not to me. Make up can be touched up. Come on, spend the evening with me."

"I'm not going to be very good company. I should just go home."

John smiled at her, "Are you going to make me beg? I hate to waste an evening with you all dressed up and looking so good."

Joss gave a little snort of alaugh. John decided to take that as a yes and put the car in gear and pulled out into traffic.

Joss was stunned. Once again John Reese had turned her world upside down. She nearly died when he made her look into his eyes and she saw the tenderness there. And now he was dragging her out on a date, refusing to take no for an answer.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Haven't thought that far ahead."

Finch interrupted with a long suffering sigh. "Mr. Reese do I have to do_everything_ for you? You have reservations at Gaiser's in 30 minutes."

John chuckled. "Thanks, Finch," and rang off. He turned to Joss with a big smile. "Fix your makeup, Finch got us reservations."

Joss pulled herself together in the car and was most impressed with Finch's choice of restaurants. The restaurant was dark and intimate, the perfect place for an ex-CIA agent who didn't want to be noticed, to take a date. If fact, it was pretty much the perfect place for anyone to take a date.

John was most impressed with the numerous admiring glances the detective drew as they walked to their seats. 'More upscale my ass, Cline', he thought to himself as he escorted Joss to their table, almost giddy with happiness.

The food was excellent, and the company was even better. Dinner was a smashing success; Joss's disastrous earlier date was completely forgotten. Both of them thought they had died and gone to heaven.

Later, as John pulled up in front of Joss's building, Joss turned to him. "I don't know how to thank you, John. You always seem to show up when I need you. Tonight started really shitty, and then you turned it into the one of the best nights I've had in a long time."

John stared at the steering wheel in front of him. "Joss, why did you agree to go out with Cline?"

"Believe it or not, he can be quite charming when you don't have your hands on his throat. He faked being interested in me real well, so I thought I would give it a shot." She shrugged. "It's been a long time since I had a decent date, and I guess my douche-bag radar was rusty. I can't believe I was taken in so easily."

"You shouldn't blame yourself. And I meant what I said earlier; that you deserve better."

"Thanks, that means a lot to me. Now if you'll excuse me, I think it's time for me to head upstairs, check on my son and collapse into the bed."

"Need any help?"

"You better mean the part about checking on my son and not the part about collapsing into bed."

John looked innocent. "Of course that**'s** what I meant, Joss." He didn't, they both knew that. He smirked at her.

Joss rolled her eyes**.** "Good night, John."

"Good night, Joss."

Before she was able to get out, John reached over, cupped his hand behind her head and gave her a gentle good night kiss. He rested his forehead against hers and said, "Let's do this again, soon."

Joss, caught off guard, took a moment to respond, but then smiled at him and said, "Yes, I would like that."

John watched as she got out of the car, and walked up the steps. At the front door she put her key in the lock, opened the door and turned to giveJohn a big smile and wave. Then she vanished inside.

John sat for a minute staring at the shut door with a rather goofy grin on his face, and then he started up the car vowing that they would do it again soon, like, maybe tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**OK, I know I called this story complete at Chapter 1, but I was asked to add onto it. Once I started writing, the story came pretty easily. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Chapter 2**

John Reese walked into the computer room of the library and handed Finch the box of doughnuts and his tea like he did every morning, except this morning Reese was smiling.

Finch eyed him with a smug smile on his own lips. "I take it things went well last night?"

Reese actually blushed a bit and looked down. "Could not have gone better. The restaurant was perfect, Finch. Thanks for the assist."

"You're welcome, Mr Reese. I know Detective Carter doesn't get out much, and she deserved a nice evening after Elias's lackey lied to her. Whatever happened to him? You didn't hurt him did you?"

"Didn't have to, Carter took care of it. I just choked him a bit, Carter gave him a knee to the groin that was a thing of beauty."

Finch's eyes opened wide and he cringed at the thought. He knew Carter was in excellent physical condition and skilled in personal defense; any blow she could deliver to the groin would hurt very, very much indeed.

"Do we have a new number?" Reese asked.

"Not today, you can take the day off. We won't have a new number until tomorrow morning at the earliest. "

John was sipping his coffee, "Things have been pretty quiet lately."

"It happens sometimes. You should enjoy the quiet while you can."

"I'm sure I'll think of something to do," John replied.

"Like a second date with Carter?"

John smiled at Finch. "Maybe."

"Just be careful. Look, Snow's van is outside her apartment again. They showed up this morning."

John walked over and looked at Finch's monitor. He recognized Carter's street and the van parked across the street from her front door. He stared at the scene for a few minutes, then lowered his head and turned away. He looked defeated, and Finch had never seen John look defeated before. Harold was unsettled, he had only wanted John to know that Carter was being followed again, but it appeared he had opened a nasty can of worms.

"John?" He asked tentatively.

John turned slowly to look at Finch, his eyes were so sad that Finch wished he had not shown John the surveillance footage.

"I'm going to have to let her go, Finch," Reese said in a low, rough voice.

"What? After everything went so well last night? I don't think that's good idea…" Finch started to say.

"Finch, there is a fucking CIA van outside her house, because of me! Do you have any idea what Snow is capable of? He _will_ hurt her or Taylor to get to me if he ever figures out how important she is to me, I've seen him do it before."

"John, Elias still wants to kill her. You can't just walk away from her. Not now."

"Elias would be dead if I hadn't saved his miserable hide. I'll still protect her, but I won't involve her in the numbers anymore. I should never have dragged her into my world, she's too good, too normal. She can handle the criminals, but the CIA, Snow, is another ball game. God, Finch, if she gets hurt because of me…." John didn't finish the sentence. He didn't have to; Finch knew if anything happened to the detective, John simply would not survive the loss.

"Why not let her make that choice herself? She's a police officer and a former soldier; I think she will choose to help us."

"That why it's up to me to make the tough choice. She has a job and Taylor to consider, both of which I have placed in danger by placing them squarely in the CIA's crosshairs. I took this job to protect people, not screw up their lives, and I'll be damned if I destroy hers. I was an idiot to think we could…" John's voice choked and he didn't finish the sentence, but Finch knew what he meant.

John reached into his pocket and put his phone on the desk, "That app, the one that warns you if Grace gets too close, put it on my phone, only have it track Carter instead."

"John, please, don't do this to her…"

"What am I supposed to do? Let her get hurt? Let the CIA dog her forever? Expose her to all my enemies? She lived without me for a long time, she'll be just fine without me. She'll be better off without me. You made the same choice for Grace, you should understand."

John looked Finch straight in the eye, "You know what I am, what I've done, how much blood is on my hands. I am a monster, and you can't tell me that I'm good for her. I'm giving her her life back." His voice choked up and John turned and left the room.

Finch looked sadly at the phone John had left sitting on his desk. Despite the fact that he did know what John had done, he knew John wasn't a monster. Reese was probably the most unselfish person Finch had ever met. He never forgot that he was working to protect those who could not protect themselves, even when it came at great cost to himself. Everything John had done, he did believing that he was protecting the greater good, but the CIA had twisted his desire to their own ends. John may have been led astray for a time, but he never completely surrendered his humanity. As the people around him, like Stanton and Snow, had surrendered to the dark, leaving their souls behind, and forgotten the reasons why they were doing what they were doing in the first place, Reese had never forgotten; he'd held on to the last scrap of himself.

Finch had slowly been doing what he could to help John recapture more of his soul and bring him back into the light. He had hopes that a loving relationship with Carter would go a long way towards healing the wounds left on his friend's psyche. Carter was a good woman who brought Reese happiness, and Finch firmly believed that Reese deserved to be happy. She brought out the best in him, and John wanted to be a better person since she had come into his life.

And, by some miracle, Carter returned John's feelings. He had seen the way Carter would look at Reese; she cared for him, and he knew that if Reese walked away from her it would hurt her deeply. She had seen that same good man in John that Harold had seen, and Finch was positive that she loved that man. She shared a military background with him and this allowed her to understand him in ways that Finch couldn't. She 'got' John.

Romantic relationships and the healing of John Reese aside, Finch had his doubts that Carter would be OK without Reese in her life. Elias was still very active despite being in jail, and he wanted Carter dead. Finch was afraid this was going to end very badly.

Finch pushed the phone away. He was not going to load the app, he was not going to be a part of this disaster.

John returned later and picked up his phone. "You didn't load the app", he snarled at Finch.

"No, I didn't and I won't. I disagree very strongly with your course of action Mr Reese. I think you are placing Detective Carter in grave danger by withdrawing your support. I won't be a party to it."

"You let Grace go!" John snapped.

"Carter is not defenseless like Grace. I couldn't protect Grace, you can protect Carter. Grace didn't have a mob boss and a cabal of corrupt cops looking for a way to kill her, Carter does. The situation is very different."

John turned on his heal and started to walk away. "You could at least call her and tell her why you are cutting off contact!" Finch called after him.

John knew he could not do that. He would lose his resolve if he talked to her again; he wanted her in his life too much. But he had to do the right thing for her. Because he loved her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Several days flew by, and Carter was getting worried. She had not heard from John since he had rescued her from the worst date ever and she was terrified he had been hurt or killed. She quietly ran searches on her police computer looking for any incidents with the Man in the Suit. She found several, but nothing to indicate that John had been injured. There was nothing to explain his sudden silence. He had put a world of hurt on some bad guys, though; Joss heard a rumor that the US Army was sending doctors to the local trauma centers to so they could practice treating gunshot wounds.

Fusco excused himself at some odd times, and wouldn't tell her where he was going, so Joss knew he was still working with Reese and Finch. She had no idea why she had been cut out of the team. For the first few days she assumed it was because the CIA was back and following her. But the CIA did not hang around very long and John did not reappear when they left.

Her texts and calls to John went unanswered. She checked her burner phone constantly; but there was no response. She went over and over their last few conversations in her head, trying to figure out what she had done or said to cause John to cut her loose, but she could not think of a single thing.

After that wonderful dinner they had shared, the way he had looked at her, the way he had kissed her, she began to think that maybe John had cared for her beyond a professional capacity. He had even asked to see her again. She could only conclude that he had changed his mind, or just got caught up in the moment.

Her heart broke. She had been right about John's feelings for her all along. She had just been another asset and now for some reason her usefulness was over. He had her heart in his large, elegant hands, and he'd simply dropped it in the dust and walked away. She was the nerdy girl in the back of the classroom, mooning over the star quarterback, and the star quarterback didn't even know she existed. No, take that back, it was worse than that. The star quarterback did know she existed, he just didn't care. And for Joss, thinking he didn't care was the hardest part of all.

One night, about a month after her dinner with John, she gave in to the sadness for a brief time. Taylor was off with friends at the latest action movie, and she was all alone for the first time since John had inexplicably vanished from her life. She had a couple of glasses of wine and broke down crying. She missed him, missed his smirk, missed his gorgeous blue eyes, missed his teasing, and missed his very _presence_.

Joss had been alone for a long time after the death of her husband and she had adjusted to it, but she had never liked it, not one bit. For all her tough talk of being able to take care of herself, she missed having a partner who had her back, having someone she could count on. She had no one, she was all alone.

Then a tall, handsome ex-CIA operative saved her life in a dark alley, knelt over her as she writhed in pain on the ground, and softly told her she was not alone.

For a while he made good on his promise, she was not alone, and she liked it. For probably the first time in her police career, she had someone who would watch her back. She had someone she could trust, someone to rely on, someone who always seemed to be there when the bullets flew. Someone she had grown to love. And now that person had inexplicably removed himself from her life without so much as a good bye.

She was alone, again, and she hated it.

Only she wasn't completely alone. At Reese's directive, Finch had been monitoring Carter in case Elias came after her again. He heard her crying, and his heart sank. All that Finch had feared was coming true.

Reese had been adversely affected by his separation from Joss. He was angry and on edge all the time, and every call and text he got from Carter that he couldn't answer only made him angrier and more on edge. He missed her deeply, even more than he had thought he would. There was a dull ache in his chest that just would not go away.

Reese had walked away from Jessica, he thought he could walk away from Joss. But he discovered that walking away from the woman you loved didn't get easier each time you did it. Quite the opposite, it got harder. Much, much harder. He was unprepared to deal with how much harder it was.

With Jessica, he'd had 4 days, with Joss, he hadn't even had 4 hours. He had been able to touch Jessica, to make love to her, be part of a couple with her for a few months. With Joss all he had was one kiss. One wonderful kiss. John wanted more, but he couldn't have it and it was killing him inside.

He regressed back into the dark place he had been when Finch found him, and the good man the Finch knew was there retreated from the light again, hiding from the pain of losing someone else that he loved.

Finch was beyond despair, he had no idea how he was going to get Reese back on the road to recovery. So when he heard Joss crying, he calmly called Reese into the room. Reese walked in and heard the sound. He frowned, "What is that?"

"That is Detective Carter, crying over you, Mr Reese."

Reese didn't say anything, but Finch saw the flash of pain and uncertainty that crossed John's face. Reese turned and swiftly left the room. Out in the hallway, he leaned against the wall. He honestly had not expected the separation to affect Carter that much. Sure, they flirted back and forth, and she seemed to enjoy their date, but he had to practically beg her to let him take her to dinner. The major emotions that he seemed to evoke in her were annoyance and anger. He never thought that Carter would miss him, that she cared for him beyond what one would normally care for a rather annoying, but useful coworker.

But is seemed she did care about him, and she was hurting because of him. He hadn't wanted to hurt her, he only wanted to protect her, for her to be safe outside the reach of the ugliness that dogged his heels at every step. But he had hurt her, and he had no idea what he should do about it.

No, he knew what he should do, he would do what was best for _her_, regardless of how either one of them felt about it. Whatever her feelings for him were, and his for her, it didn't change the fact that his presence in her life exposed her to one of the most dangerous men in the CIA and he would not let that ruthless bastard Snow ruin her life. John knew that she was better off without him, and he would continue to stay away. She had gotten over losing a beloved husband, getting over losing a working relationship with a cold blooded killer should be a snap.

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More time passed.

Joss was a stiff upper lip type. She had a job she loved and a son she loved even more, so like the Royal Family, she kept calm and she carried on. She quit charging the burner phone, and sadly tossed it in a drawer, intending to send it a phone recycler at some point. But she never did; it was her only link to John, the only evidence that he was ever in her life at all, and she was reluctant to give it up just yet.

Finch continued to monitor her, and he was relieved to hear that she was recovering from her heartbreak, albeit slowly. He did not hear her cry again after that night, but he had no way of knowing how sad she felt inside. She put on a brave front, and those around her had no idea that alone at night she would lie in bed and wish she could see that handsome operative just one more time.

Every time Fusco snuck off with some lame excuse, Carter would look at him sadly, knowing he was going off to help John and knowing that she was not wanted or welcome. Those sad looks hurt Fusco more than he let on. He had badgered John to tell him why he had stopped calling her, but Reese had growled at him and refused to say anything.

While Carter was slowly recovering, Reese was taking longer. He was still tense and angry, still hiding his soul away from the light.

Finch was getting desperate; he had no idea how to fix the situation.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Joss crouched behind the low cement block wall. Debris from the bullets hitting the top of the wall rained down on her head and the dust choked her. She glanced over at the uniformed officer who had accompanied her to the warehouse. He laid still, face down on the floor, blood from his chest wound pooling around him. She could not reach or help him, and she had to assume he was dead.

Carter had no idea how she was going to get out of this. She was low on ammunition, and there were at least three men shooting at her. She had tried calling for help, but the nearest precinct was a hot bed of corrupt HR cops and she knew they would not come to her aid. Fusco was out of town with his son on a fishing trip and John had stopped taking her calls months ago.

She was alone.

It wasn't supposed to be like this, the tip about the warehouse had seemed sketchy at best, she only checked it out to be thorough and complete, because that was her style. Almost as soon as they had entered the building, Officer Stevens had been shot in the chest and went down. Carter had been saved by the fact that she had been behind him and she managed to dive for the shelter of a four foot high block wall off to one side. But as soon as she had had a chance to look around she realized she was trapped, too far from a door or window to make a run for it. As soon as she was out of ammo, they would kill her.

She peeked around the wall staying low. She calmly picked off one of the shooters who had foolishly stood up from his cover to try and get a better shot at her. She immediately had to duck back behind the wall as a hail of bullets from his buddies hit the wall again.

She was beginning to think she was going to die here.

She briefly thought of Taylor. She knew her mother would take good care of him, but how would losing his remaining parent affect him? She could only hope he would be OK. She would never get to see him grow up, graduate high school, go to college, get married and have children of his own. She would never meet her grandkids.

She briefly thought of John. Would he miss her, would he even think about her at all? If his silence these last few months was any indication, probably not. She stifled a small sob and then pushed those thoughts out of her mind; she could not afford the distraction right now.

She peeked again, and was met with another hail of bullets. She stared at the door, it was a couple hundred feet way, and there was no cover, the floor on this side of the warehouse was completely open. Her odds of making it were slim to none; but it was about her only option at this point. Either that or she sat here and waited for them to come get her and kill her. Joss Carter would rather die trying, she had to run for it.

Taking a deep breath and setting her mouth in grim line, she got ready to run. Crouching down like sprinter waiting for the start of the race, she steeled herself for what she was about to do, then she heard 2 gun shots that didn't sound like the type of guns her adversaries had been using. It sounded like a Glock, and she knew who used a Glock….

She looked around the wall again to see John Reese striding across the warehouse floor towards Stevens. He knelt down and checked for a pulse in the officer's neck.

Joss gasped. It was so hard to see him again after all these months of no contact. He still had the same affect on her though; her stomach did a joyful flip and her heart hammered in her chest. She had to take a moment to recover and regain her composure, only then could she run over to him. "Should I call an ambulance?" She asked as John knelt over the wounded officer.

John didn't look up. "Don't bother, he's dead."

"Poor Stevens," Joss sighed.

John stood up. "Don't waste your pity on him, he was HR. He was supposed to lead you here so they could kill you, only he didn't know they were going to kill him too. HR discovered he was skimming some of the protection money he was collecting from the stores on his beat, so they thought they would kill two birds with one bullet." John was speaking in a hard, bordering on harsh, tone of voice, one she had never heard from him before. He did not look at her at all the entire time he was speaking; he kept staring down at the dead policeman.

He finally looked over at her and his face was hard and cold, the face of a stone cold killer. She took an involuntary step back. She had never seen John like this; there was no smirking, no flirting, no warmth, just a hard, angry man. Her face must have reflected the confusion she felt.

"What's the matter, detective? Don't like what you see?" He actually snarled at her. He had never spoken to her harshly before.

"John, what happened to you? Why are you acting this way?" She laid a hand on his arm. John actually glared at her hand as if it offended him somehow.

He gave her a hard look. "This is the real me, detective."

"No, it's not." Joss set her jaw, ready for a fight. She had no idea what game he was playing, but she was not in the mood for bullshit right then.

"How would you know? You don't know the things I've done, the people I've killed." He snarled at her, getting right down in her face in a failed attempt to intimidate her.

Joss held her ground and looked him squarely in the eye. "I know you've saved my life twice now, I know you've saved Taylor's life. I know you risk your life everyday for total strangers. John, I know this is not the real you, and I'd like to know why you feel the need to put on this show for me and why you cut me out of your life."

John stared at her, not realizing that his mask had slipped a bit and she could see the confusion in his eyes. He should have known he could not fool her, he never could. She always called him on his bullshit.

When Finch had first told John that Joss was being led into an HR ambush, he knew that if he was going to save her he was going to see her for the first time in months. He had not been sure he could see her, talk to her, and then walk away again. He had hoped that by adopting his assassin persona that he could show her he wasn't worthy of being a part of her life and he could get through this meeting with his resolve to do the right thing intact. She had blown that plan out of the water in just a few moments.

John closed his eyes and looked away. Having her so close was killing him, even covered in dust and debris she looked gorgeous to him. She had just had a very close call and he wanted to grab her up in his arms and hold her tightly to reassure himself that she was unhurt. But he didn't have the right to touch her, he shouldn't touch her. He had to turn away from her to keep his hands off.

"It was for your own good Carter. You don't belong in my world, and I sure as hell don't belong in yours," he said heavily.

Carter exploded with the intensity of a white hot burning sun, pouring all her hurt and anger she'd been feeling over the last several months into her tirade. "My own good? Are you kidding me? Who the hell are you to decide what's good for _me_? I don't belong in YOUR world? In case you have forgotten, I am a New York City Homicide Detective. This world IS my world, and I've been living here a lot longer than you. How DARE you! Fuck you and your paternalistic bullshit, Reese!"

With one swift motion of her leg, she swiped John off his feet and he landed on his ass on the floor next to Stevens' body. Had circumstances been different, she would have gotten a good laugh out of the comical, surprised expression on John's face, but she was far too furious to even notice it at that point.

"Carter, listen to me, I didn't want to hurt you, but I didn't want your life destroyed because of me. The CIA will never leave you alone as long as I'm around, my enemies will be your enemies too. Do you know how many people that is? How dangerous they are?" John started to pick himself off the floor, but Joss swiped his legs again, dumping him back on his butt.

"Did you ever consider talking to me like a damned ADULT? I've been taking care of myself, in a dangerous job, in this city for a long time before you showed up. I can handle myself!" She yelled at him.

John started to get up again and Joss took another swipe, but this time he was ready for her. He grabbed her leg, stopping her momentum cold, and this time it was Joss who went down on her rear end. John pounced on her, pinning her to the ground. He was kneeling over her, each of his legs pinning one of hers and each hand holding down an arm. She glared up at him, vibrating with anger and, he realized belatedly, hurt.

"Joss, I've brought so much chaos and danger into your life. I didn't want you get hurt because of me; I couldn't live with myself if that happened. I wanted you to have your life back; you deserve to have your life back. That's all I was trying to do, all I wanted to do was to protect you, from _me_."

John stared down at Joss and she stared back up at him. They stayed like that for several minutes just looking at each other. All the fight gradually drained out of Carter and she stopped struggling, but a tear dripped out of eye and ran down her temple into her hair.

"Do you know how much time I spent trying to figure out what I did to piss you off? Why you cut me out of your life?" she said, her voice quivering with the pain and loneliness that she had felt for the past months.

John stared down at her, his heart aching in his chest. She stared back, eyes glistening with tears she was trying to suppress. John suddenly realized that she thought he had cut her off because he didn't care; because she meant nothing to him. She had no idea that he did care, very, very much, and she actually meant everything to him. He honestly had tried to do the right thing for her, to put aside any selfish desires on his part, to place her safety first; and he was beginning to realize that he had screwed up, badly. Finch had been right after all.

John wanted to tell her how he felt, how much she meant to him, how these last few months had nearly killed him. But the words would not come. Impulsively, he reached down and kissed her, hoping the gesture would substitute for the words he was unable to say. He pulled back, and saw the shocked expression on her face. He had failed again.

"Get off me, please," she demanded.

John moved off her, she got up and simply walked away. She didn't even look back.

John watched her go, and then he sadly began cleaning up the warehouse, completely removing all traces of her presence from the HR shootout. The very least he could for her was keep her out of this mess when the corrupt local precinct discovered their plot failed.

Later he walked into the library and as soon as he saw Finch's face, he sighed. "Go ahead and say it".

"I told you so." Finch said, but it did not feel any better. "She nearly died today; HR took advantage of our inattention."

"I know Finch." Reese sat down heavily in his chair. "I tried to do the right thing, to keep her safe and it nearly killed her. To top it all off, I hurt her, now she's furious with me."

"What are you going to do about it, John?"

"I don't know."

"You could apologize, make some gesture to her to show her how important she is to you."

"I'll think of something, Harold."


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to everyone for the wonderful reviews. You guys are the best!**

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**Chapter 5**

Carter left the warehouse fighting back tears. She didn't look back because she didn't want John to see her crying over him. She stumbled to her car and took off as quickly as she could. She needed to get away from him. She was so hurt and angry, and then he went and kissed her, like she was some sort of amusing toy to him.

She got home and miraculously there was a parking space right in front of her building. Her unsteady legs got her out of the car, into the building and up to her apartment before they gave out on her in her entryway. She sat on the floor, finally allowing herself to let out all the rage and hurt she had been feeling for months over John's abandonment.

She had known and accepted that Reese could never love someone like her. She was bossy, and by-the-book, she was a stick the mud, she wasn't a girlie girl, she wasn't anything special at all. But she thought he respected her, considered her a valued colleague. Now she knew he really thought of her as a child who needed to be taken care of. The worst part was that she had proved him right by walking into a trap and he'd had to rescue her.

Then he kissed her. God knows she had dreamed of that moment so often; she had wanted him to kiss her so badly, and for so long. But she couldn't accept his gesture of affection after he'd told her that she couldn't hack working with him. It made her feel so… disrespected. That was hard to take from someone she wanted as badly as she wanted him.

She cried and screamed herself out, on the floor of her entryway, then went inside, took a long hot bath and went to bed. But she couldn't sleep. For some reason she kept thinking about how cold and empty her bed was. She had felt like this for a year or so after her husband died, but she'd slowly moved past it and she hadn't allowed herself to think too much about it since. Tonight the loneliness punched her in the gut and she curled up in tight, miserable ball in the middle of bed.

The next morning she still felt like shit, but she had to go to work because she and Fusco had an early appointment with an important witness in their latest case. She dutifully dragged herself out of bed and into the shower. Fortunately her morning routine was so automatic that she could do it while she was more asleep than awake. Taylor was down south with her mother visiting relatives, so she did not have to get him to school.

She got to work only a little late. To her surprise, she found a large cup from the coffee shop down the street sitting on her desk, containing her favorite drink, done exactly the way she liked it, still piping hot. She looked around puzzled, who left that there? She asked Fusco if he had brought it, but he denied it; nor had he seen who had left it there. "Just enjoy it, Joss," he grumbled at her, frowning over the top of his reading glasses.

Taking a sip, Carter sat down in her chair and unlocked her file drawer. She pulled it open and extracted the file she needed to review before she and Fusco met with their witness. She opened the file, and sitting on top of the papers there was a post-it note with neatly printed writing, _Forgive me._

Joss stared at it, stunned. There was only one person this note could have come from. She looked around the room quickly, but she didn't see Reese. How had he gotten into the precinct? She briefly considered that he might have enlisted Fusco's help, but dismissed that idea since it would have required Fusco to pick the lock on her desk, and she knew Fusco did not have those skills. Reese himself must have snuck into the precinct to leave the note and the coffee. Her heart felt a bit lighter for the first time in months.

Fusco and she left to interview their witness a few minutes later, deciding to take her car, since she was more familiar with the particular neighborhood where the witness lived. Joss went to get the car started, while Fusco took a side trip to the men's room. As soon as she got to the car, she saw another post-it on her steering wheel that read: _I never meant to hurt you_. She smiled, and put the note in her pocket.

The interview with the witness went well. The woman, a housewife in her thirties, was as smart as a whip and willing to testify in court. All Carter and Fusco had to do was wait for the Tox Screen to come back from the lab, and they had the case locked up for the DA.

They got back to the precinct around lunch time, and Fusco left her in the parking lot to go meet one of his CI's about another case. Joss walked back to her desk alone, where she found a bag from her favorite deli containing her favorite sandwich, a large soda and another post-it, this one read_: I wanted you to be safe._

Joss sighed. She had always had a hard time staying mad at John, but he was really making it extra tough today. She hit CTRL+ALT+DELETE to unlock her computer, intending to eat while she typed up her notes on their conversation with the witness. Her computer screen sprang to life and the first thing she saw when she typed her password was a text file on the screen: _I wanted the CIA to leave you alone. Snow is dangerous and I don't want him near you. He will hurt you to get at me. I couldn't live with myself if you got hurt because of me._

"Oh, John." Carter actually said out loud, getting a bit teary eyed. She finally understood that he had done the wrong thing, but for the right reasons. She wished the damn burner phone wasn't at home in a drawer. She needed to hear his voice, to tell him that she forgave him, to welcome him back into her life.

After printing out the note, she stashed it with the post-its in a folder and put them in her desk. She knew she was acting like a silly schoolgirl, but she was going to keep those notes forever.

She ate her lunch and typed up her notes, made some phone calls, read a coroner's report and generally went about her day for the next couple of hours. Fusco returned from his meeting with the CI with what looked like a good tip, so they decided to follow up. Once again they took Joss's car, and once again there was a post it waiting for her on the steering wheel_: I wanted you to have your life back._

Joss stuck the note in her pocket before Fusco could see it, she would it add to the others later.

They returned to the precinct a short time later since the tip turned out not to be as good as they had hoped. Joss returned to her desk and opened the folder where she had put all the notes from John so she could add the latest one, and found yet another note: _I should have asked you what __you __wanted._

Joss blushed; he had caught her keeping the notes! Now would be a very good time to die of embarrassment. But she had to smile; she should have known he would find out, he obviously was watching her very closely today.

Carter had trouble concentrating for the rest of the day; all she could think about was getting home and getting the burner phone plugged in.

She went to the Ladies Room right before she left work, and yet another note was stuck to the mirror: _What do __you__ want?_

"John," she said out loud, "I appreciate what you are doing, but the Ladies Room is off limits, OK?"

She left and walked to her car, and she was a bit disappointed to find that there was no note on her steering wheel. "I guess he said everything he wanted to say." She thought.

She drove home, parked, and checked her mail on her way into the building. She almost squealed with delight when she unlocked her mailbox and saw another post-it on top of her mail: _Call me, please._

Her feet barely touched the steps as she walked up the stairs to her apartment. John had lifted a huge burden off her today, not only did she know why she had been cut out of his life for the past several months, but now she knew that he did it because he cared about her.

She got to her apartment, unlocked the door and went inside. Quickly she took off her holster, and put her keys in the usual spot on the table by the door. She wanted to get to the burner phone in the drawer, to her link to John.

She hurried into her kitchen and stopped dead. There was bouquet of flowers on her table the size of a compact car. She put a hand to her mouth and got teary eyed for the second time that day. Stuck to the vase was another post-it: _Have dinner with me?_

She tore open the drawer where she had put the phone and dug frantically through all the odds and ends until she found it and its charger. She plugged it in with trembling fingers. She turned it on and punched the first preset.

"Hello, Detective. I take it you got my notes?" The familiar silky voice had its usual effect on her. She closed her eyes and smiled as her body tingled with happiness.

"Yeah, and the coffee, and the sandwich, and the flowers. I'll forgive you, this time, but don't ever treat me like a child again, John."

"I have learned my lesson, I promise. From now on I will treat you as the adult woman you are."

"Good. Then you may take me to dinner."

"I'm glad you said yes, because this could have been awkward if you said no," said a voice from behind her.

Joss snapped the phone shut and turned to see John standing there smiling at her. Smiling, not smirking, with a twinkle in his gorgeous eyes that made her knees weak.

She set the phone down on the counter and crossed her arms, trying to look severe, but failing because the corners of her mouth just could not help rising up and her eyes could not hold back their answering twinkle.

"You broke into my apartment. You're lucky I didn't shoot you."

"I thought I would take the chance. We did agree to a second date, if I recall correctly."

Carter looked Reese up and down. He wasn't wearing his usual suit, he was in dark jeans and a light blue polo shirt that made his gorgeous blue eyes stand out even more intensely than they usually did. Carter had to keep her arms firmly crossed to keep from touching him.

"So where are we going to dinner?" she asked with one eyebrow raised.

"Some place very special, and intimate and, as you can see, casual. Go change out of that Authority Suit, and grab a light jacket. Wear flat shoes, too."

Carter looked puzzled. John just grinned at her like the proverbial cat that ate the canary. Carter decided that since this was the man she trusted with her life and that of her son, she would just do as he asked. She had a feeling this was going to be something very special.

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**One more chapter to go!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I want to everyone who left a review for this story, I read them all! You guys are the best.**

**Thanks to Maddsgirl75 again for all the Beta help and listening to me whine.**

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**Chapter 6**

Joss changed into jeans, a plum colored short sleeved blouse and flats. The way John smiled at her when she emerged from her bedroom told her that he approved of her attire. On their way out the door she grabbed a jacket as he'd requested.

Reese escorted her to a black SUV parked at the curb just outside her building. They climbed in and John pulled out.

"Where are we going?" She asked again.

"Patience, Joss, patience." John said, still with that smile on his face.

John drove them out of the city towards Westchester. They drove for quite a while, and it was starting to get dark when he finally turned off the main road onto a gravel road marked "Private". Joss threw John a look, and John simply said, "It's OK, I know the landowner."

"Finch?"

"Finch."

After about a mile, the gravel road wound behind a low hill to a meadow with a large tree in the middle that was well out of sight of the main road. John parked and opened the back of the SUV, handing Joss a couple of blankets to carry while he grabbed a large cooler. Joss was delighted, a picnic dinner!

"Where should we sit?" she asked.

"Oops, forgot something," and John took a small remote control out of his pocket and clicked.

The bottom branches of the tree in the middle of the meadow sprang to life with hundreds of tiny lights. Joss gasped with delight and looked over at John, he was wearing a very smug smile. Joss didn't care, this much planning and care deserved a genuine reaction, and Joss did not mind letting John know she was very happy about his choice of venue.

"I can't believe you went through all this trouble for me." Joss said.

"Who else would I do it for?' John asked, with a hint of surprise in his voice.

Joss spread a blanket under the tree and they settled down to eat. The food was delicious and they stuffed themselves. The conversation flowed easily and naturally, just as it had during their previous date all those months earlier. When Joss thought about it later, she marveled at how easily they returned to being completely comfortable with each other.

John groaned and crawled over to Joss and lay down with his head in her lap. "My stomach hurts," he complained.

"I know, I feel the same way!"

Joss started absent mindedly running her fingers through his hair while staring off into space.

"What are you thinking about?" John asked.

Joss looked down at him and smiled a dazzling smile that made John very glad he was already lying down or he would have been driven to his knees by the sheer beauty of it. "I like it out here, thank you for bringing me here."

John sat up and pulled her into his arms. "You have no idea how much I've enjoyed this, Joss." He leaned down and kissed her. And she kissed him back. They finally had to break apart, and John looked down at her with a mixture of love, desire, and awe, while she smiled back at him with the same mixture of emotions in her eyes. Neither one could believe the other one felt like THIS, and they both did.

After staring at her for a minute or so, John went back in for another kiss, this time he gently pushed his tongue into her mouth, and she allowed him in. His tongue caressed hers slowly at first but gradually the speed increased on both sides.

John finally had to pull back, and Joss was very glad he held her tightly in his arms because she just would have melted onto the ground into a giant puddle otherwise. She buried her face in his neck instead so he couldn't see how she was about to die of happiness right then and there. Every nerve ending she had was on overload, and she was breathing heavily. She barely restrained herself from ripping his clothes off. Even though she could feel his racing pulse against her cheek, she had no idea he wanted to do the same thing to her. They sat like that for several minutes, just enjoying the feel of each other in their arms.

Joss felt John take a deep breath and let it out slowly. She looked up at him and he seemed to be struggling with something. Finally he looked down at her.

"I love you, Joss," he said, in a deep husky voice.

"Oh, John!" Tears sprang to Joss's eyes. She had never even dared to hope she would one day hear him say those words to her and she was briefly rendered speechless.

John looked away. "I know I don't have the right. I shouldn't be with you. Darkness follows me. And then I saw the darkness starting to follow you too, and I couldn't let that happen. I've seen it destroy so many people, I was not going to let it take you."

"So you thought if you stayed away from me, I'd be OK? You were going to give up your happiness to protect me?"

John nodded miserably, still looking away from her.

Joss took his head in her hands and forced him to look at her. "John, you did not bring the dark into my life; I did, when I became a cop. I deal with it every day on the job. If you stay away from me, that just means I don't have my Guardian Angel anymore."

John had to smile at that.

She leaned in and gently kissed him. "I don't want you to stay away, because I love you too."

John looked startled, and she nodded at him with a big smile on her face. "I know what my life is like with you and I know what my life is like without you. I definitely prefer the version with you."

Before she knew it, she was on her back, and John was on top of her, ravishing her mouth. His hands were everywhere on her, not that she minded. She gave as good as she got, and John was in a very giving mood.

John rolled over onto his back pulling her on top of him and slowed the pace. Finally, she sat up, straddling John's lap and looked down at him lying beneath her. He was smiling; God, he was so handsome when he smiled and she was so overwhelmed with love for him that a tear trickled down her cheek. He sat up, reached out and gently wiped it away. "Why are you crying?" He asked with great concern. "Did I hurt you? Do you want to stop? I'll take you home if you want."

Joss's words came out in a rush. "Oh, John, I never thought I would ever feel this way again. After Robert died and I was left alone, I thought I was going be alone for the rest of my life. I'm not alone for the first time in so long and I have someone as amazing as you telling me that you love me."

"You think I'm amazing? Really?" John seemed shocked.

"What else do you call a man who puts his life on the line very day for complete strangers?"

John looked down, embarrassed. "I call it someone who has a lot to atone for."

Joss reached out and grabbed his chin forcing him to look at her. "Well, I call it amazing." And she kissed him before he could argue further.

"Joss, I want to make to love to you."

She nodded her assent, and he started undoing the buttons on her blouse, while his lips ghosted over her neck and shoulders, planting little nips and kisses randomly over them. Every nerve ending in her body was on fire and Joss was sure she was going to pass out from pleasure before he even got her shirt off. Her head dropped back and she moaned softly as his fingers brushed against her skin.

John set her blouse aside and started working on the clasp on her bra, and it soon joined her blouse. It was a warm night and the night air felt incredibly sensuous on Joss's skin. A quick tug and John's shirt was off and joined hers in the pile.

John turned his attention to her breasts. Once again he lightly ghosted his lips over her, planting random kisses while she whimpered his name. He gently latched on to one nipple, teasing it with his teeth and tongue, while he played with the other one between his thumb and forefinger. Joss threw her head back and moaned while running her fingernails down his back.

John's hands wandered down to her jeans, he popped the button and lowered the zipper. He lay her down on her back on the blanket and removed her pants so that she was completely naked. He knelt over her, just looking at her, and Joss suddenly became very self-conscious. She wasn't young anymore, and she was acutely aware that physically she was the exact opposite of Jessica. Jessica had been tall and light and thin, and Joss was short and dark and curvy. In the middle of a field, under those twinkling lights, there was no place for her hide.

"Do you like what you see, John? She asked, scared of the answer. She would just shrivel up and die right here if he was unhappy with her.

But she shouldn't have worried. John was looking down at her with gentlest look in his eyes. "You're so beautiful, Joss," he said in tight, low voice as he gently ran his long elegant fingers over her body. She shivered and arched her back as his hands roamed over her.

He, of course, was gorgeous. His body was all lean muscle, graceful and powerful. She reached out and gently touched the scar the CIA bullet had left behind. John took her hand in his. "It's healed Joss. I never blamed you."

Joss couldn't meet his eyes, she would always blame herself.

He laid down next to her. She leaned over and gently kissed the scar and then slowly started kissing her way up his flat stomach while he ran his fingers through her hair. His head dropped back and he moaned, "Oh, Joss". She never thought her name had sounded more erotic.

Joss reached for his jeans, and John helped her take them off. She took his erection in her hand, gently stroking it while it was his turn to gasp out her name. She began licking the head and then slowly taking the entire length into her mouth, lightly scraping it with her teeth as she swallowed him. She looked up to see his eyes rolled back into his head in ecstasy. She smiled, happy that she alone could have that affect on him. She attacked his erection, licking and sucking, trying to give him the maximum pleasure possible.

Suddenly his hands where pulling her off him and flipping her over onto her back again. He slid his body between her legs, and only paused when his cock was poised at her entrance. She opened her eyes and looked at him, wondering why he hesitated. He met her eyes, "I love you," he whispered, and surged into her, filling her and causing her to moan loudly as she arched her back up into him.

Joss wrapped her legs around his hips as he pumped in and out of her with swift, sure strokes. She was incoherent with pleasure. It was a good thing no one was around for miles given the volume of their cries. He reached down and stroked her clit, driving her over the edge.

Swiftly he withdrew from her and turned her over so that she was on her hands and knees. He held her by the hips and plunged back into her, burying himself to hilt. She screamed his name, and it had never sounded sweeter to him. He thrust into her wildly, until she climaxed again, and this time he let himself follow her.

They collapsed onto their sides, facing each other. Joss's hair fell across her face hiding it from John. He reached out and gently brushed it back, tucking it behind her ear so he could see her. She opened her eyes and smiled a happy, sated smile at him. He smiled in return and pulled her over to him so that her head was on his chest, holding her tightly against his lean, muscular body.

Joss gazed up into the eyes of the man who had just turned her world on it's side. She knew she would never let any man touch her like that again; no one could ever follow him.

And he loved her. He. Loved. HER. The star quarterback loved the nerdy girl. She had loved him, wanted him for herself, for so long and it was almost too good to be true to be lying here now with him.

"Joss?"

She looked up at John. He was staring at her with that intense look again. "This wasn't casual for me, I..I hope it wasn't for you."

"Oh, John. No, this is most definitely not casual for me. I don't know how we are going to make a relationship work, but we _will_ make it work."

John gently kissed her. "Yes we will", he said fiercely.

Joss snuggled up against the man she loved. John clicked off the lights and they spent the rest of the night cuddling, making love and watching the stars.


End file.
